This guide on anal foreplay was written by sex journalist and expert, Alexander Cheves,

15 Types of Anal Foreplay for Better Butt Sex - It is a truth universally acknowledged that a person in possession of a good butt must be in want of good butt play — especially before anal sex. The worst anal sex tops simply charge in with no thought for warming up the butt, and these tops tend to cause more pain than pleasure. If that’s your jam and your playmates consent to that kind of play, that’s fine, but you should convey that beforehand: a simple “I like to go rough” is needed before you start. Otherwise, you can seriously hurt someone.

I love a rough bang if I’m ready for one, but I love a long, drawn-out session even more. After some foreplay and warm-up, I can work myself up to going rougher than I can without it — and I imagine most bottoms would say the same. Anal foreplay is a necessary component of heavier ass play, like fisting and playing with big toys, so it’s a good idea to master a few anal foreplay techniques. Here are 15 ways to get a butt hungry. 

1. EAT ASS. 

Analingus (also called ass eating, rimming, and so on) is the mother of all anal foreplays. Widely considered the favourite precursor to anal sex, rimming can be wildly pleasurable for the recipient (and for any butt-lover doing the rimming). A good rim job is one of my favourite parts of sex — I usually don’t want it to stop. 

Like any sex act, consent and communication are key to making a rim job happen happily and comfortably for everyone involved. Only rim — or get rimmed — if you and your partner are mutually eager to do it and have talked about it. If everyone involved is enthusiastic and wants to give it a try, go slow. Go at a pace that suits you and your playmate. 

Rimming always raises questions about health risks and hygiene. Before you get started, it’s a good idea to make sure your butt is clean. Usually, a shower is sufficient, but some folks wash a bit internally, which can involve anal douching. Rimming can transmit bacteria like E. coli and Shigella, viruses like hepatitis A, and various kinds of intestinal parasites, so there are some risks to it. These infections typically result in gastro-type upsets (tummy issues), but you can also get some classic sexually-transmitted infections too, like herpes and gonorrhea. 

The most effective way to prevent these infections is with barriers like dental dams and cling wrap (plastic wrap), though my personal feeling is that these barriers eliminate the fun of rimming — I can’t imagine anything unsexier than wrapping plastic around a butt before going tongue diving. A clean, washed butt is enough for me to feel safe, both as a rimming top and bottom, and I choose to mitigate risk in all my sex activities by getting thorough STI testing once a month as well as regular GI health check-ups. 

So, how does one rim? The classic technique is licking either up and down or around and around in a circle. Some people argue that a clockwise direction is better, others say counter-clockwise. Some folks like to add sensations involving their teeth, stubble, and hair; some like to rub their noses and faces on the hole, rub their chins and jaw on it, blow air on it (and into it), spit on it, and other things. Most rimming recipients like some of these and not others, and everyone is different (I, for example, do not like the feeling of any teeth). Remember: the skin of the butt is delicate and hypersensitive, so imagine that everything you do down there is amplified because of where you’re doing it — the tiniest lick can be wildly pleasurable, and the tiniest uncomfortable sensation will be equally amplified. 

Whatever you do, it’s important to regularly ask the rimming recipient what feels good to them and be attentive to their sounds, moans, body language, and facial expression for signs of pain or discomfort. When in doubt, remember that rimming is much like other forms of oral sex: it’s all about the tongue, and wiggling the tongue around is always a good move to fall back on.

2. PLAY WITH A THONG, JOCKSTRAP, OR SOME SEXY LINGERIE. 

Foreplay is about getting you in the mood. Nothing gets me in the mood like wearing something I feel sexy in — and showing off to playmates (and potential playmates) what they get if and when they play in my butt. I’m a cisgender guy who loves wearing naughty, lacy lingerie, but jockstraps and thongs also have their place in my arsenal. It’s great to wear something sexy to the bedroom (or wherever your hook-up is happening). The process of slowly removing your underwear (or having someone else remove it) can itself be as intense foreplay as any other. 

3. GET A BUTT MASSAGE. 

Not only can a butt massage be a major turn-on, but it also helps your body: most people’s glute (butt) muscles are tight, and a massage can help you relax and open up for more anal play. 

The butt does a lot of work: the glutes support the weight of your upper body, and they are pivotal for balance. They do work every time you walk up or down stairs, every time you sit and stand, every time you bend over and pick up something. A good butt massage stimulates blood flow and helps soothe the muscle. Start gently and knead the butt, working vertically from the top of the butt/middle of the butt, down both cheeks, over the hole, to the bottom of the butt and the perineum. 

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4. FINGER YOURSELF. 

It’s a good idea for anal sex bottoms to get comfortable playing with their holes. Self-fingering can give you a fair picture of how things are down there: how tight you are, how much lube you need, and whether or not there’s any irritation or odd textures, which can be a sign of a fissure or other issue. And, obviously, solo fingering is a great way to prep your body and mind for heavier anal play and help yourself relax and open up. It’s a good idea to lube yourself with a finger or two before all anal sex: you’re the only one who truly knows know how much lube you need to feel good. 

5. GET FINGERED. 

Getting fingered by a partner is a common (and fun) way to warm up for heavier anal play, and can help prepare your butt (and mind) for toys, dick, fisting, and more. But getting fingered by someone else can also be difficult: someonehas to have closely clipped and buffered nails, along with plenty of lube and a gentle touch. Go slow! 

I tell everyone who fingers me that one finger feels like someone is poking me with a pencil. It’s better to start with two, slowly and gently, and work your way up from there, should you both desire to try more. 

6. PLAY WITH A BUTT PLUG. 

Playing with a butt plug by myself is different than when I play with a partner: unless I’m doing plug play with a friend, I’m not pistoning the plug (moving it in and out rapidly) when I go solo. 

Because I’m a fist bottom and training my butt, I sit on a plug almost every time I masturbate — and if you want to take your bottoming game to the next level, I suggest doing the same. This will train your mind to associate orgasm with anal stimulation — with the full, stretched feeling of something inside you — and this will gradually “switch” your pleasure locus point to your ass. I now struggle to cum without something in my butt. 

Plug play is a great warm-up for anal sex. Remember: foreplay is whatever gets you in the mood for anal sex and doesn’t necessarily have to directly involve your partner. I usually travel plugged to my hookup’s apartment — a form of personal foreplay that gets me hungry for more.