Submissive
In the BDSM community, a submissive, or sub, is an individual who consensually surrenders control to their dominant partner in a dynamic known as a dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship. Submissives can be of any gender or sexual orientation, and the level of submission can vary greatly depending on personal preferences and boundaries.
Being submissive encompasses a wide range of activities and experiences. Some submissives find pleasure in psychological submission, using verbal cues such as addressing their dominant as "Sir," "Master," "Ma'am," or "Mistress," or by engaging in humiliation play. Physical submission can involve various forms of bondage, such as rope play, collaring, handcuffs, or caging, as well as impact play like spanking, caning, or paddling. Submissive derive pleasure not only from the acts themselves but also from the knowledge that they are pleasing their dominant partner.
The level of pain or intensity in submissive acts can vary greatly. Some submissive enjoy light teasing, while others crave more intense sensations. Additional submissive acts may include obedience, begging, asking for permission, accepting punishment, engaging in role-play, or being displayed and shared by their dominant. Sex gear and toys, such as gags, handcuffs, spreader bars, paddles, and blindfolds, often play a significant role in submissive experiences.
It's important to note that some individuals, known as switches, can comfortably transition between submissive and dominant roles depending on the situation or scene.
More About Submissive (Sub)
Contrary to popular misconceptions, submission does not equate to weakness. Embracing one's submissive nature requires self-awareness and understanding, which can heighten pleasure and create an equal partnership with the dominant. A healthy D/s relationship is built on a foundation of mutual consent, respect, and open communication. Establishing boundaries and using safe words ensure that both partners feel secure and respected throughout their interactions.
The extent of D/s dynamics can vary from couple to couple. Some individuals only engage in submissive play during specific times, such as sexual encounters or at BDSM events, while others may choose to live as full-time submissive, relinquishing control to their dominants in all aspects of their lives. In 24/7 D/s relationships, the dominant may provide care and guidance to the submissive in exchange for their obedience and service.
One significant milestone in some D/s relationships is the collaring ceremony, where the dominant presents a collar to the submissive as a symbol of their commitment and bond, similar to a wedding ceremony.